from the very start the math could never end

if only i were warned at all before

the sleeping, kicking, gasping, grasping

toward the green light dangled over my head

in the hospital ceiling always too short

to reach my strength built from climbing

summits of expectations just to inspire

the thin gratitude of another day with nothing

short of brute force of mind carrying afloat

my friendships, identity, cap and gown

hung up so fragile and so easy to fall thus

no room for error, no space to breathe it

keeps on going though i choke and heave

buckets of phlegm for all it takes is a speck

of slippage, rot, worked hard for what

scrutiny befalls me in the end that there is

no way back, and even fewer ways forward

for a valedictorian, summa cum whatever it all

adds up to what if i fail you now?