surrounding me winter snow melting flurries

hurried untied tangled

ice beads braided into the strands

a coarse brush of wispy hairs

whipped across my face like fresh morning grass

splattering the dewdrops on my nose

cold front moving in

surrounding me hairs swirling

nitrile spiders of the night snacking on my neck

i do not open my eyes to entertain them

how dare they disrespect my sanctuary

across my chin they march in a straight line weaving spindles

thick like steel rods and obelisks

tangled in my teeth like floss ripping into my gums

surrounding me silk beams sharpened with hilts closing in

as if squeezing my eyes shut could constitute the only armor that stops them advancing

warmth flowing from my veins coagulating on the pillow like irresistible strawberry jelly

consumed by the same weakness that made me vulnerable to them

the guttural scream inside my heart inescapable unvisualized

so unreal

if i only had more years i would have more money to hire an exterminator with an iron grip

surrounding me the protective promise allegedly held within

the oath i uttered when i first opened my lungs to the cold crisp world

purchased with a debt never to be sufficiently repaid

a shield made of the gaze of every generation that came before and everyone i did and will not invite and all who just happen to be in the audience today

compressions on my chest with my heart still beating the iron of my resistance or what remains

death from good will

that i never asked for held on my head like a ransom in exchange for every piece of myself the instant i first opened my eyes

so i hang over the edge of a brave new world

waiting with bated breath for the bungee cord to break—